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Taking our chances - Halong Bay, Vietnam

By Lauren Girardin

Thurs, March 26, 2009

Sunset in Halong Bay, Vietnam | Photo by Lauren Girardin

(Don't get confused later when I talk about going to China in February. Remember, we're behind in our storytelling!)

There are more horror stories about Halong Bay tours than positive reviews, but it's next to impossible to see the karsts without getting on a tour boat at some point. We talked to one couple who scored a bargain price Hanoi hostel only to be abruptly kicked out when they booked their Halong Bay tour elsewhere. We heard of rats running amok in dining rooms by day and audibly gnawing inside bedroom walls by night. The consensus about Halong Bay tours is: you take your chances.

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When tour boats attack, Halong Bay, Vietnam | Photo by Lauren Girardin

After so many tales of ROUS's, inedible food, and promises not kept, we decided to spend a little more on a tour with ODC Travel, a company, though not strongly recommended, at least wasn't maligned online. Our tour was remarkable only for the 60 year range in ages of passengers and because of the enthusiasm of our tour guide, an opinionated, charming talkaholic who told us more about modern-day Vietnam than did anyone else in the country.

Watching the karst panorama of Halong Bay unroll from the tour boat's top deck is like watching the Christmas yule log on TV – it's a scene to space out to. After two days of kayaking around karsts and taking guided walks through garishly lit caves, Todd and I escape, as planned, from the over-scheduled grind of our tour to relax on the beach at Cat Ba Island in the north of Halong Bay.

The next day, though it's too early for dinner, we bike up to Green Mango, the swankiest restaurant on unswanky Cat Ba Island. We want to check the menu to see if their kitchen really slings something unique and if our modest long-term budget can handle the indulgence. Though dozens of other places line Cat Ba's shore road, most are the same lazy, tourist restaurants that too often serve up food poisoning along with their gummy fruit pancakes, fried rice, and local whole fish – the latter of which, though nicely grilled, is still under suspicion for causing Todd's stomach flutters yesterday.

Tacky lighting on penis rock - Halong Bay, Vietnam

Tacky lighting on penis rock, Surprising Cave, Halong Bay | Photo by Lauren Girardin

Another young American couple is scrutinizing Green Mango's menu. We saw this pair earlier in the day, when they arrived at one of Cat Ba's small beaches just as we were leaving – an Asian woman whose body language exudes happiness from head to toe and a Caucasian guy with a rockin'-yet-dorky dirty blond handlebar mustache. Between their foodie enthusiasm and the guy's facial hair that almost outshines Todd's crazy sideburns, how could we not invite these complete strangers to meet us later for dinner?

Conversation comes easily over our many quickly emptying dinner plates. For the moment, Benand Tutuare living in Chengdu, China though they're both headed back to the States soon. They came into Halong Bay overland from China for a vacation in northern Vietnam.

At one point, I admit to them that, "It's a relief to talk to other Americans, just for the simple fact that you can understand our natural mumbling American monotone."

Todd and I are surprised and envious when Tutu corrects me – she's Chinese and English is her second language; she picked up her impeccable Southern California accent while in the U.S. for college. Still, Tutu can commiserate with us about how our many months of speaking simplified "tourist English" with non-fluent travelers and locals has caused our vocabulary to deteriorate.

Buoys and shore, Halong Bay, Vietnam | Photo by Lauren Girardin

Though it's four countries and nearly three months away, Todd and I greedily pick Ben and Tutu's brains about where we should visit in China.

Tutu is quick to exclaim, "You should come see us in Chengdu! We don't leave for the U.S. until late February - it's perfect timing! See the pandas. The food is fantastic. We'll get hot pot! Really, Chengdu is a great city and from there you can check out the rest of southwest China."

"We don't even have a guidebook yet!" laughs Todd. "But we'll get one soon and try to figure out what our plan is and let you know if we can visit you in Chengdu."

Though we're all headed to Hanoi, we take different boats through captivating, karst-riddled Halong Bay. The landscape is surreal, the tall karst mountains speckling the misty sea, looking like so many just-cooked gnocchi floating on the surface of a pot of boiling water.

Love bench and napping dog - Cat Ba Island, Halong Bay, Vietnam

Love bench and napping dog, Cat Ba Island, Vietnam | Photo by Lauren Girardin

Back in Hanoi, I compulsively check our hostel's book-trade shelf for any novels worth swapping. Manh Dung Guesthouse is popular so the books get a lot of turnover. Judging from the usual pickings, most tourists on holiday read churn-'em-out authors like Dean Koontz, Dan Brown, and Lincoln Childs; we've had an impossible time finding worthwhile reads, even in used bookstores.

But today's an auspicious day - the hostel's shelf holds a nearly new copy of the most recent Lonely Planet China's Southwest and a Mandarin phrase book. It's an unbelievable coincidence that right after Tutu and Ben were selling us hard on the southwest, the two books we need for a visit to that part of China were waiting for us.

Finally, before Todd and I head out for a day of wandering Hanoi's confusing streets, I check Facebook, which has become more compulsory than email for staying in touch with friends met on the global road. I'm psyched to read a wall post from Tutu: "We are in Hanoi now and will leave for Sapa tomorrow. If you guys are still in town, let us know and maybe we can meet up for another good dinner..."

Sunset approaches - Cat Ba Island, Halong Bay, Vietnam

Sunset watcher, Cat Ba Island, Vietnam | Photo by Lauren Girardin

I wall back a plan that won't involve the cell phone we don't have. "Let's meet at the foreigners' bia hoi junction at Pho Dien Liet & Pho Luong Ngoc Quyen around 6:30pm."

Later at the bia hoi crossroads, Todd and I have lost track of time. Todd's working on his second bia hoi, local "fresh" beer sold out of the keg for as absurdly little as 3,000 dong a glass (just 18 cents). I'm sullenly milking my much pricier bottle of Bia Hanoi, since the fresh hops of the bia hoi give me an incapacitating migraine.

Many of these bia hoi shops are little more than dents in the wall, barely big enough to hold the keg and a rack of clean-enough glasses, which must keep the overhead low. This particular bia hoi intersection attracts tourists and expats, so shops charge double the normal per glass price, while bathrooms and food are non-existent. Still, bia hoi is the cheapest beer in Asia.

As the crowd of drinkers grows, the short plastic lawn chairs that pass for seating throughout Vietnam illegally spread into the streets. Twice tonight the bia hoi shopkeepers have hurriedly crammed the crowd back onto the narrow sidewalks, feigning innocence as a cop car cruises by, after which everyone promptly spills back into the intersection without a pause in our drinking or conversation.

Finally, just as Todd and I are getting motivated by hunger to leave for dinner, Tutu and Ben arrive. Practically skipping as she comes over, Tutu says, "Hey guys! How awesome!"

Duck rotisserie, Halong Bay, Vietnam | Photo by Lauren Girardin

As they grab seats and beers, I say to Tutu, "It's so cool that this plan worked out."

"Worked out? What do you mean?"

"You got my reply on Facebook to meet and here we are! I love Facebook."

"Oh wow! I didn't get your message. The internet at our hostel wasn't working today. You'd told us about this beer place and it sounded cool, so we decided to come by. We didn't know you'd be here!"

Through our laughter, Tutu and I manage to explain to the guys that, despite our attempt to make a plan, it's coincidence that brought us together again in this sprawling city of 6 million people.

Todd jumps in, "No problem. You hungry? They've got boiled peanuts here - they're pretty good! Hey, you're never gonna believe this other coincidence, but there was a southwest China guidebook and a Mandarin phrasebook sitting on our hostel's book-trade shelf today..."

Travel Tips – Halong Bay and Cat Ba Island, Vietnam

Where we ate:

Holiday View Hotel, Cat Ba Island - See hotel review below. Dinner gets a "yeh" and breakfast a "nah," which averages out to a: MEH
Hoang Y Restaurant, Ca Ba Island - The grilled local fish was a bargain, and other dishes were unremarkable except for their astoundingly massive size. Todd may have picked up food poisoning here, but it's hard to say for certain: MEH
Than Trung, Cat Ba Island - The place next to Hoang Y, we think we have the name right. Inexplicably packed with tourists, the food was gross: NAH
Green Mango, Cat Ba Island - It's a splurge (our share of dinner, plus our two mixed drinks totaled about $30 US), but worth it. Though we were underwhelmed by the fresh spring rolls, the seafood dishes were particularly good, including the fish and chips and the clams in broth: YEH
Viethouse Lodge - Our last lunch stop, this was the worst meal of our Halong Bay tour. Everything was fried to dryness and we were served what might be the worst spring rolls in all of Vietnam. Lucky for you, unless you're on a tour like ODC's, you won't have to eat there: NAH

Where we stayed:

Sea Cruise Boat - The boat company hired by ODC for the cruise part of our Halong Bay tour. Rooms were clean, comfortable and modern, though "big" as ODC describes them is an exaggeration. Considering the cost of the tour, it's appalling how they gouge you on beer and bottled water purchased on board; ODC claims the prices are determined by and the profits go to Sea Cruise. Though you're allowed to bring your own water, do like we did and sneak on other drinks to enjoy in your room. The meals on the ship were unremarkable, most dishes were more like bland Chinese stir-fry than Vietnamese food. We're in Vietnam - can we get some noodles people?: MEH
Holiday View Hotel - Besides the incredibly creepy styrofoam Christmas sculptures in the lobby, this tour-group hotel has nothing to offer the independent tourist besides free WiFi, though the signal is only available in the restaurant which plays gnarly, loud muzak, even between meals. The set dinner of our tour was surprisingly varied and tasty, though the included-with-tour breakfast buffet was pathetic: NAH
Hu'ong Cang Hotel, Cat Ba Island - The hotels on Cat Ba Island are a miserable lot, though generally very affordable, especially when you bargain, which you should. This hotel was the least terrible of what we saw – we got a spectacular view from our 4th floor balcony and the hot-water bathroom was fully enclosed (rather than walls that don't quite reach the ceiling found at most Cat Ba hotels). The 80s hot biker chick posters they used to hide machinery in the rooms and hallways was a riot: YEH

What we saw:

Halong Bay tour with ODC - An unexpected result of booking through a company office rather than through our hostel was that we wound up on a tour that mixed ages and interests too much for us to have a blast. But, we avoided a Halong Bay horror story, which is positive Only after our tour did we hear multiple raves (if you're 20-40 and like to socialize) about cheaper tours booked through Hanoi Backpackers Hostel. Warning: you may be forced to listen to the local music performers on the boat, even if all you want to do is sneak off to the top deck to chill out: MEH
Surprising Cave aka Hang Sung Sot - The guided walk through this massive cave is an entertaining enough break from the karsts, especially for the laughs at the tacky pink lighting on the penis rock and the incongruous penguin-shaped garbage cans: YEH
Sunset Peak on Titop Island (Dao Titop) - It's a steep schlep, but the views of the sunset, and if you have good timing, moon rise over the panorama of karsts is worth the schvitz: YEH
Cat Ba National Park, Cat Ba Island - On our short guided walk through the edge of the park, we stopped at a strangely far inland "fishing village" and unfinished "old houses" which seemed like a desperate stretch to show us something in the park without taking us on a strenuous hike. We would have preferred a hike into the real wilderness: NAH
Cat Co 2 Beach - There aren't many public beaches left on Cat Ba, so you take what you can. This beach was nice enough, you could watch women constantly sweeping up the litter washed in on the waves. Considering the lack of options, it gets a: YEH

Photos from Halong Bay and Cat Ba Island, Vietnam

If you can't see the photo slide show above, view the photo set on Flickr.

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Ilisha

Mar 26, 2009 |

Thank God you wrote another post! I am so addicted to this thing it is ridiculous - luckily I too heart FB so I can at least know you are alive and well (and kind of sun tanned which is always funny)! Love the ROUS references (although not loving the actual idea of that) - I find it hard to believe that any type of facial hair can ever rival Todd's - and why the hating on dean koontz?? mass procuded - yes I grant you but the man can craft a tale (at least he could in the 90s anyway).
Love you both! Don't leave me hanging on entertainment again - damn your enjoyment of the trip! ;)

Jeremy and Eva Rees

Apr 4, 2009 |

I read so quickly that trading books is going to be a necessity. 2 weeks in and I've read both books I had! No luck yet in finding a good replacement...

We started Mexico with no guidebook, and no luck with finding one used. Prices on new ones were too high ($28 US) so we went without. A few days ago I picked up an old one (1997!) for $2.25. Doing pretty good with it so far, and it's amusing to see how much as changed (or hasn't) throughout Mexico in 12 years.