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 Todd at our $3 a night bungalow on Don Det | Photo by Lauren Girardin As Todd and I swing in our hammocks on the deck of our tiny river-side bungalow on Don Det island*, we see several unusually burdened boats float by on the Mekong River.
The first few are loaded with folding tables and chairs, the next with brightly painted carousel animals, and then one nearly sinking under the weight of a half-dozen giant speakers. It's when we see the second boatload of speakers that we get really curious.
No one seems to know for certain why there's a big party tonight, here in the rural south of Laos. One rumor is that it's a memorial – or maybe a birthday? – for a rich man. Another is that the party's a celebration to ensure the auspicious opening of a new business. A few tourists gullibly believe that it's a Beer Lao-fueled Full Moon Party, done up 4,000 Islands style.
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 Poised propeller on the Mekong | Photo by Lauren Girardin Just after sunset, our bicycles shake over the dusty footpath that circles Don Det, then rattle over an old French-built bridge, now stripped of train tracks and ties, left with a ragged stone surface, bumpy as the back of a toad. As we roll through the moonlit dark on Don Khone, we follow no directions, just the increasing volume of music and the thickening stream of people.
After hiding our rented bikes in some shrubs, we cross a lumpy, dried out rice field that feeds cows during the day, as evidenced by the mounds of turds, threateningly fresh and numerous. Ahead, the party's lights seem glaringly bright after the island darkness, where weak, generator-powered electricity only runs after sunset, on just for four few hours.
Thousands of Laotians picnic in front of two stages, ringed by vendors hawking peanuts still attached to their vines, soup (of course), and manhole cover-sized rice crackers cooked over a campfire. There's the now-assembled carousel, the type that spins children wildly on arms around a center pole, like Gene Kelly's Singing in the Rain umbrella. It takes Todd and I a few minutes to grasp that the carousel is people-powered, it's rotation maintained by three sweating men.
 Water buffalo babes | Photo by Lauren Girardin On one of the stages, a hot, young couple belts out Laotian pop tunes while making frequent costume changes. They're accompanied by a willowy man playing a multi-tubed bamboo wind instrument, which he holds vertically pressed between the palms of his hands, as if in prayer, as he hyperactively pendulums his hips, snug in shiny black pants. This lead trio is backed by twenty pre-teen dancers, dressed in nearly but not quite matching outfits of neon ruffles and spangles, waving their hands around in an attempt at synchronization, knees bending awkwardly to the reggae beat, as their feet, clad in practical, frumpy black flats, hardly move at all.
On the other stage, a Laotian rock band plays one of the loudest sets I've ever heard, thanks to the twenty-foot high speaker towers. Of the band's two adolescent backup dancers, one has clearly studied a few music videos for her insistently sexy hip thrusts, while the other lazily follows the other's lead. In front of the stage, a crowd of local teens rock out, kicking up a cloud of Pigpen dust. Every time the band finishes a song the teens scream dramatically and run away from the stage, leaving behind a few startled and confused foreigners. As the band pops a squat, a bland man talks into the mic for five minutes, chattering what later we find out are paid commercials for local island businesses. As soon as the band starts up again, the teens flood back to dance, one beer happier than before.
Both stages are nonstop while we wander the party and after. When the rooster that roosts under our stilt-bungalow crows, as it does every night at 3 a.m., Todd and I hear the overlapping Laotian pop and rock still carrying far over the river.
* For you sticklers out there, yes, I know saying "Don Det island" is a lot like saying "ATM Machine." But for clarity's sake, I beg your grammatic lenience.
Travel Tips – 4,000 Islands, Laos
Where we ate:
Service on Don Det is incredibly, unbelievably slow. Keep in mind that almost everything is made to order and there's no electricity besides the infrequent generator power. Of course, we heard that Don Det was going to be connected to mainland power by April 2009, so for all that we know may have changed by now.
- Mr. Tho's - Stuck on a small island with lots of cruddy restaurants serving tourist slop, Lauren decided to take a tour of the island's specialty, pumpkin burgers, which are made fresh when you order. You'll hear the cook pounding pumpkin, garlic, ginger, and some other goodies, then the magical sound of pan frying. Mr. Tho's was Lauren's favorite, moist, and really pumpkin-y. Pumpkin burgers elsewhere were more a crusty deep fried fritter. Todd liked Mr. Tho's curry: YEH
- Jone Nee Guesthouse and Restaurant - We went to a dinner with other travelers there, and they were all happy enough with their dinners. We didn't eat. Todd's happy cocktail was not very, and Lauren's rice pudding was inedible, not pudding so much as a plate of cold rice mixed with milk and sugar: NAH
- Mr. Noi's - Another lunch, another pumpkin burger. Too crispy and dry: MEH
- Bakery - Considering that this bakery is on a dusty, powerless island in the deep Laotian south, the goods are phenomenal. The best is the spicy, tremendous focaccia, good for take away for your long bus ride over the southern border. The cakes are oddly unsatisfying. Opens at noon (if the baker was Laotian, he'd be up at dawn, but as a falang, he must sleep in) so, frustratingly, it's not a breakfast destination, as it deserves to be: YEH
- Cafe Rouge - We went with a group of eight. Though there was no one else in the restaurant, it took two hours for our food to arrive by which time we'd all gnawed off chunks of the table. We were so hungry that our dinners should have tasted like manna from heaven, but instead it was only so-so: MEH
- Mekong Dream Restaurant and Hammock Lounge - We were intrigued by the phrase "Hammock Lounge" in their name. We were thrilled with their food. Not the cheapest meal on the island, but the sweet-sour-spicy Laotian food was worth every extra kip. Minus for the annoying cats that constantly leap on your lap as soon as the food comes out. Mekong Dream, it's time to put kitty behind closed doors: YEH
- Magical Moments with Mr. Man - Another pumpkin burger. Crunchy, but a good burger none the less. Particularly slow service, we went through two beers each waiting for our food: YEH
- Reggae Cafe - Perfect setup for relaxing in hammocks with a view of the river and a typical "reggae" menu: YEH
- Jasmin Indian Restaurant - Run by folks from Malaysia, where we've heard Indian food is sublime, Jasmin's food was inexplicably awful. We begged for spice when we ordered, as did other nearby tables, yet we got what may be the blandest Indian food in this world. Even dousing it with a tablespoon of chilli powder that we had the waiter bring over did not help. Mysteriously, this place is packed every night, but those tourists must hail from places that don't have Indian restaurants of their own: NAH
Where we stayed:
- Sonetip Guest House a.k.a. Mr. Bounsone Guesthouse and Restaurant a.k.a. "Mike, the German Guy's Place" - We were looking for a quiet bungalow away from the main part of town, that was on the river (rather than across the dirt road from it) and had a Western toilet. Sonetip was all that. Like most places, cold shared shower, shared toilet, generator power from 6 p.m. - 10 p.m. and the only outlet is in the kitchen. We only ate breakfast there, which was fine, not spectacular. In exchange for the quiet, you'll need to rent one of Mike's bikes, which are all falling apart or broken, and pedal for 10-15 minutes to get to the main part of town (for most restaurants, internet, and sunset). Also, Mike is taking advantage of his isolation, charging 1,000 kip more than anyone else for a beer and a day bike rental. But, since the bungalow is only $3 US a day, what the hell.: YEH
What we saw:
- Mr. B's Sunset Bungalows - We visited other travelers here for sunset, which is the main reason to stay at Mr. B's. The rooms were fine, though the nearby generators were numerous and loud: YEH
- Somphamit Falls a.k.a. Somphamith Waterfalls, Don Khone - There's not much to do on the 4,000 Islands, which is kinda the reason you go. You can kayak the river, join a dolphin spotting tour, or see the waterfalls. Somphamit is the waterfall you don't need to pay through the nose for a boat ride to see. Just bike on over to Don Khone, pay the silly bridge fee, and keep biking on dusty, bumpy roads to the waterfall. Large, rocky, pretty enough and only a small amount of litter in the river: YEH
- Border Crossing, Laos to Cambodia - There were lots of rumors about nightmare border crossings, usually involving booking a border crossing with a hotel/agent/tout only to find yourself abandoned on the Cambodian side. Generally these rumors come from someone trying to sell you their border crossing trip. Shop around on Don Det and haggle, the more people you book with the cheaper it is so grab a few other tourists. As far as we could tell, it doesn't matter where you book on Don Det, you all wind up in the same boat to cross to the mainland, then the same van to the border outpost. There, you need to bring US dollars in 20s and 1s to pay the various fees, which yes, are bribes, but are at least fixed price bribes. Oddly, the van will drop you at the border outpost, then frighteningly, drive away with your bags, with not a word to you about what's going on. After you get stamped out of Laos, then walk a few hundred meters over the border, get your Cambodian visa and stamp, pick your bag up from where it's been dumped in the dust, then get sorted into a new van headed for your final destination in Cambodia. It's cheaper to book through to Strung Treng and then haggle for an onward van from there: YEH
Photos from 4,000 Islands, Laos
As mentioned previously, I accidentally deleted many photos from our time in south Laos. These are what's left from our time in the 4,000 Islands. Unfortunately, no pics from the party survived.
If you can't see the photo slide show above, view the photo set on Flickr.
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Dispatches 
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